Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
