dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
