i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
