You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
