38 yer olds are good kisserssss
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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