so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
