I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
