remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my shit smells like andre
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
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At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
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I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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