Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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