Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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