Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
