that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
