He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize