Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
