So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
