you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I have tasted many bathrooms
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
