i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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