I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
sarcasm needs its own font
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
