so that wasnt chicken after all
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize