Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
