Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
