You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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