Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
