my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Little spoons don't ask big questions
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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