let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
