you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
