im drinking this country out of the recession.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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