are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
