Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
