Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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