I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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