Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
