She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
