all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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