its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
