He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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