I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
