If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
