hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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