sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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