Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
