do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
