I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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