I wish I could punch you in the face.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
