Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
