At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
