You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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