have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My vagina is officially offended.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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