just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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