Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
im holly from the hills drunk
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
