I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
and she was petting her beer can
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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