Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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