Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
