Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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