I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
