I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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