Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
