she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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