I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
