hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
