A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
