I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
