you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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