He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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