Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
