So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
