she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
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How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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